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Bill Maher’s New Rules for Friday took on the security surrounding the Olympic torch run, horoscopes, children’s parties, grooming on board airplanes and the extremist Mormon cult raided this week, but saved his harshest words for the Catholic Church:
Whenever a cult leader sets himself up as God’s infallible wingman, here on Earth, lock away the kids. Which is why I’d like to tip off law enforcement to an even larger child-abusing religious cult. Its leader also has a compound, and this guy not only operates outside the bounds of the law, but he used to be a Nazi and he wears funny hats. That’s right, the Pope is coming to America this week and ladies, he’s single!
Now I know what you’re thinking: “Bill, you shouldn’t be saying that the Catholic Church is no better than this creepy Texas cult.” For one, altar boys can’t even get pregnant. But really, what tripped up the little cult on the prairie was that they only abused hundreds of kids, not thousands, all over the world. Cults get raided, religions get parades. How does the Catholic Church get away with all of their buggery? Volume, volume, volume!
If you have a few hundred followers, and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If have a billion, they call you “Pope.” It’s like, if you can’t pay your mortgage, you’re a deadbeat. But if you can’t pay a million mortgages, you’re BearStearn and we bail you out. And that is who the Catholic Church is: the BearStearns of organized pedophilia. Too big, too fat. When the current pope was in his previous Vatican job as John Paul’s Dick Cheney, he wrote a letter instructing every Catholic bishop to keep the sex abuse of minors secret until the Statute of Limitations ran out. And that’s the Church’s attitude: “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it…”
And despite all this, Pope Benedict shows that he does have some standards in other areas as he declined an invitation to a White House dinner in his honor.
No Trackbacks To “Real Time with Bill Maher: New Rules“
While I have zero respect for Maher, I have to hand it to him on this, he gets it.
His comments on the Pope were spot on. You can tell the audience was somewhat stunned. But his analogies were flawless.
Boy, that brave, brave Bill Maher, condemning a minority faith in America. Why Americhristians just love them Catholics, it’s why the colonial governments and their descendants discriminated against them and Al Smith lost his bid for the Presidency. Bravo, Bill, I’m real fucking proud of you for taking on a group in something as American as Indian Wars and Latin American Interventions.
Please, people, look at how Americans have historically treated our Catholic minority and tell me this is a good thing. Oh, and if Catholics are all child molestors, all Muslims are suicide bombers.
Why do people let the pope get away with this? Because people still believe they have “souls” which will live on forever and ever even though the human body has only gained the ability to digest milk in the past 3000 years.
Did you notice that when the current pope updated the deadly sin roster, child molestation was nowhere to be found?
Zenrage @ 4:
The “soul” comes from the Greek philosopher Plato, it was not originally a Jewish, or for that matter Christian concept. History, my friend, is your friend.
Turned it off after 2 minutes, Im sick of Maher and his generalization of religions. He’s doing to christianity exactly what Michael Savage does to islam on the radio.
Gary @ 6:
In all fairness, we Christians haven’t exactly submitted to the examinations of our faiths we allow for Muslims, Buddhists, and Jews…
Yeah, it isn’t all Catholics that are bad, just the ones in charge. How can anyone defend this? “”"When the current pope was in his previous Vatican job…, he wrote a letter instructing every Catholic bishop to keep the sex abuse of minors secret until the Statute of Limitations ran out.”"” If that is true why would people want anything to do with this guy? Boo Hoo we’re being discriminated against? Please!
We should all be subject to the same ridicule, no matter what our religious persuasion. No one deserves any special treatment because of their particular “faith.”
General_Rennenkampf @ 5:
Yes, I know that the Christ myth predates the promise of posthumous immortality. I’m just saying that there is no way for such a thing to have evolved when we’re still not fully lactose tolerant.
kobold @ 1:
I’m curious why you have not respect for him??? I don’t have cable, but watch the clips on C & L and find him to right on the money on most things.
General_Rennenkampf @ 3:
I’ve never understood this binary thinking. If you’re Catholic you must be a child molester? Show me where Maher or anyone ever suggested that.
The fact is that the Catholic Church has sought to protect priests they knew were molesting children rather than protect the children. It doesn’t mean all practicing Catholics are molesters any more than it means that all priests are molesters. The danger of the strawman that you created is that it dismisses a very real problem that the Church has not adequately dealt with.
<—lapsed Catholic, whose parish priest was one of those molesters.
Zenrage @ 10:
That’s true, but then I am a Christian that happens to accept evolutionary biology, holding to a mixture of gradualism and punctuated equilibrium. Namely, some species evolve faster than others, and I’m not thinking of Homo sapiens, here, but our more evolved (no joke, it’s an actual study that says this) cousin Pan troglydytes.
Nicole Belle @ 12:
You’re right, it was a strawman. I hate logical fallacies in others and just did a big one right there. But, we do America a disservice by focusing only on the Catholic molestors, ignoring the explosion of cases in the Southern Baptist Convention, so bad that even the willfully-blind leaders of the Convention had to quiet the masses. Yes, Catholic priests include some molestors. As either Dave or Mrs. Robinson on Orcinus (I’m really too lazy to get the name right) pointed out, so do the SoBaps.
To me, the old hate-on-the-catliks tradition explains why we hear of Cardinal Law and not cases of the Southern Baptist youth ministers who rape young boys just as egregiously, and who are just as egregiously bused around.
Nicole Belle @ 12:
Yes, it was a strawman, I apologize for it. But it’s not just the Catholics doing it, some of the newer and worse cases are in my denomination, the Southern Baptist Convention. It was a bunch of incidents like this that cured me of the nastiness found in other SoBaps, and has made me apatheistically theistic.
It’s not Pope Ratzinger, it’s Pope Benedict. He gave up Ratzinger when he became pope.
Christopher Turkel @ 15:
You’re 100% right and I’ve made the correction. My apologies.
Sinéad O’Connor was correct, and she still got totally screwed by the public for her statement. Bill Maher gets it right as well.
He’ll always be Ratzinger to me.
Terriff, almost caught myself shaving my balls.
Bill Maher is a scroungy little white guy with a big freakin head and should be stepped on for his thoughts not only about catholics. I refuse to watch his show based on the fact that I respect other human beings which he continually trivilizes and belittles. Sure the catholic church has been wrong by covering up some off the wall pedephiles however it is probably true that there are just as many pediphiles in other faiths as there are in the catholic faith ( by percentage). Maher doesn’t have to worry about that since he’s a freakin athiest. He can’t allow himself to be held to any rules therefore he choose to belong to the faith that has no rules, atheism. He’s nothing but a know it all litttle puke and one of these days he’ll get his come-up-ins!
General_Rennenkampf @ 3:
Huh? I thought catholicism was the most popular religion in the US?
Juan Guapo @ 20:
Okay, maybe as many in terms of congregation, but as many in terms of leadership? Many believe that children who were molested by priests had these urges to victimize and became priests in the hopes of controlling these urges, thus perpetuating the cycle of abuse that has been covered up.
I gotta blame it on the Jews, since they were the ones who didn’t finish Jesus off soon enough, and Peter then became the first Pope. If it were not for that crazy Messianic stuff in the Apocalypse and the Book of Daniel the world would have been a better place. Too bad that Joshua wasn’t picked off by a Canaanite arrow…
seth @ 21:
O.o
What alternate reality are you from? Most Americans either believe Catholics are still medieval, heretics who will burn in Hell, or just dumb pagans. Catholicism is the largest denomination, but without the Mexican Catholics causing the new bulge in membership, it would be one of the smallest denominations. Catholicism is still outnumbered by the Protestants in America, just try being Catholic in the Bible Belt and getting witnessed to by idiots from groups like (shudder) the Charismatics or the Baptists!
As a Baptist, I’m well-equipped to testify under oath that at least 30% of the country believes Catholics will all burn in Hell along with Jews, Muslims and Mormons. And this is while Catholicism enjoys the most tolerance it ever has. Al Smith’s 1921 bid for the Presidency was defeated mostly because he was Catholic.
In a nutshell, no, Catholicism isn’t popular in the U.S., or in the Anglosphere.
seth @ 21:
Just checked, according to Pew, 24% of adults were catholic in 2002. Lower than protestants. Still a large number though, but technically a minority.
Juan Guapo @ 20:
What. the. Hell?
Atheism is a faith? Good God in the foothills, what alternate reality are you from? The one where Catholicism is the majority faith of the U.S.? I’d say atheists do hold to rules, as religious morality in some ways is less moral than atheist morality. Many, if not all religions encourage good behavior and right belief for an afterlife. What does atheism offer? Right behavior without a reward at the end.
So, atheism is in that way at least, superior to the Christianity I cherish.
General_Rennenkampf @ 24:
Don’t insult me with your alternate reality drivel.
Here’s how it breaks down, in my eyes.
A fair number of atheists and agnostics think christianity is silly and/or harmful, catholics included. The 30% that thinks catholics will burn think everyone outside of their 30% will burn, although they might especially pick on catholics because they are a christian religion as well.
Zenrage @ 10:
Thanks, I haven’t had that good a laugh in a good long while. I’ll chuckle all day over your Lactose Intolerant analogy.
People outside this 30% who are tolerant (whether atheist, agnostic, or other) generally don’t give whether some is catholic or not much thought.
Bill Maher gives one man’s opinion and it is refreshing. And many believe that too many pedophiles hide within organized religion. Just saying, do you really think that someone smart enough to create the universe and all the beasties and mankind too requires veneration?
seth @ 27:
That’s true. But then, to me, most of the Evangelical world is oh, so much bullshit wrapped in fragrant flowers. That’s just evangelicals. The Charismatics are worse. At least the average Evangelical doesn’t think God talks back when they pray….and I’m surrounded by those people in my school.
California has a nazi governor, the U.S.A. has a nazi president and the world has a nazi pope, I thought we won the war!?
seth @ 29:
Most of whom I know of as solemn believers create a hell for themselves.
Most non-believers I know are good people who just don’t give a crap what others believe.
Consider the source. Also, if you have a strong belief about anything, it is inevitable that you will run into friction.
♣Bangkok Bob♠ @ 33:
I’m a believer who doesn’t give a crap and realizes Christians stole Heaven and Hell from Zoroastrianism…
There is no god, you people are absolutely delusional, but I’m cool with it….just keep your white-trash religion out of my government.
♣Bangkok Bob♠ @ 33:
I have a hypothesis that this is why right-wing and christian radio became so popular. Their mental “models” of the world are not validated by reality, and so they need constant affirmation of their beliefs in order to maintain them and deal with the cognitive dissonance.
wtlloyd @ 36:
Amen … (tongue planted in cheek here)
wtlloyd @ 36:
I’d agree with that statement (not the white trash part). These types seem to forget that the Christian Savior forbade Caesar’s realm and God’s realm mixing, and that in a time when Tiberius was emperor, no less.