The Colbert Report/Stephen Colbert

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The Colbert Report Word: Love Lost

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Stephen Colbert has some words of warning for the hippies out there. From The Colbert Report Nov. 18, 2008.

See, talking about peace and love shows weakness. That's why these days you only find the words peace and love where they belong. On stamps.

[snip]

I mean if you start loving your enemies pretty soon you're going to end up in a drum circle with Mahmoud Ahma-kumbaya-ajad. So be careful America. Peace and love are powerful ideas. If we start talking about them, we might actually get the hope and change that everybody keeps talking about.




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The Colbert Report Word: The Pity Party

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From The Colbert Report, Nov. 12, 2008:

I don't believe in adding insult to injury. Once I've injured someone I just like to take a moment to enjoy it. But apparently election officials in Omaha Nebraska are going to add an insult to the Republican injury. They're still counting the votes there and there's a damned good chance when they finish tomorrow they'll be giving one more electoral vote to Barack Obama making him the first Democrat to get a Nebraskan electoral vote since Linden Johnson in 1964. And...and to get that vote Johnson had to promise to nuke Kansas. Now if it happens, one Democratic official said this victory would be "like a cherry on top of an already sweet election." Well the Democrats can have their sweet elections. Republicans perfer things bitter and salty.

Nation, I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that things are not going well for the Republicans. Two years ago they controlled both the White House and the Congress. Soon they'll be controlling both the Coke machine and the fry station. And then they're asking, how did we fall so fast? Which takes us to tonight's Word...Pity Party.


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Colbert Backs Up 'Papa Bear': The New Conflict is Gays vs Blacks

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The wingnuts and their Master, Bill O'Reilly, have been waiting for the day when those darned minorities would stop picking on white people and start turning on each other. Which is why they're selling the Prop 8 outcome as the product of the black vote.

Stephen Colbert, of course, was out giving this line of argument his own special juice last night, beginning with the Papa Bear clip in question:

O'Reilly: Here is really the crux of this issue, ladies -- and gentlemen watching tonight: Why were they outside of Warren's church? It was the black vote that voted down gay marriage. Why weren't they in front of the black church?

Colbert: Yes! There wasn't one protester outside the First National Church of Black!

All Rick Warren did, all Pastor Warren did was endorse the ban to tens of thousands of his church members. We all know who voted for the ban!

[Plays news clips describing 70 percent of the black vote favoring Prop 8.]

Colbert: Gays should protest black people! The new conflict is gays vs. blacks, and blacks vs. gays. And black gays vs. themselves. It's gonna be great.

I've been saying for years these PC groups would turn on each other -- although I had my heart set on Eskimos vs. the handicapped.

Be sure to check out Dan Savage's followup exchange with Colbert, including the classic line:

"Soaking is up what you do immediately after saddlebacking."

Even Colbert had some difficulty maintaining the poker face on that one.

[H/t to Heather for the video.]


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Rachel Maddow Visits The Colbert Report

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Our friend Rachel Maddow stops by the set of The Colbert Report to chat with Stephen about her new show on MSNBC.


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The Colbert Report: Stephen Offers His Support to Ted Stevens

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Stephen is pretty broken up over Uncle Ted Steven's conviction, but he's heartened by the possibility of a Bush pardon.


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Colbert McCain Reaches Out To Middle Class-102208
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From The Colbert Report Oct. 22, 2008

I for one appreciate the McCain campaign treating us like children. McCain will bring us back to a simpler time. A time when you could identify your neighbors' jobs by the hats they wore. Like Sam the Fireman, Bill the Cowboy and Jose the stereotype. These are the people in your neighborhood. The people that you meet when you're walking down the street. They're the people that you meet each day. And what the people in your neighborhood, the Joe the Plumber, the Wendy the Waitress need are tax cuts for the wealthy and off shore drilling. They don't need universal health care or last names.


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Naomi Klein on The Colbert Report

  Naomi Klein, author of the "Shock Doctrine", squares off with Stephen Colbert on disaster capitalism.

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"Naomi Klein wants us to be prepared for leaders to take advantage of us in moments of crises."

You can catch Amato's interview with Naomi here.

Indecision 08 has more great Colbert clips.


Colbert's Word: President Bush is "Powerless" to Catch bin Laden

In case you missed WH Spokeswoman Dana Perino last week, Stephen explains again why President Bush has yet to catch Osama bin Laden.

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"Get off the President's case. Thanks to Dana Perino, we now know that Bush hasn't failed to catch bin Laden because of errors in judgment or policy decisions. It's because he doesn't have super powers. And he has never claimed to be anything but a human being...chosen by God to fight an axis of evil and defeat a mortal danger to all humanity."


  Thomas Frank appeared on "The Colbert Report" last night to promote his new book, The Wrecking Crew: How Conservatives Rule, and succinctly explained the thesis of his latest work thusly: Conservatives may be good at winning elections, but they suck when it comes to governing.

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"Once you start treating it as a business, you know once you start turning over government operations to the market you're not talking about democracy any more. What you're talking about is plutocracy. Rule by the wealthy. Rule by the market."

(h/t Heather for vids and transcript)

Rough transcript below the fold:

Continue reading »


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Many of McCain's Media have grown disenchanted with their BBQ and doughnut buddy over some of his recent tactics and Stephen Colbert agrees that the "Celeb" ad may have backfired in an unintended way.  To him, it highlighted a far more attractive potential nominee:

Last week, Senator McCain unveiled a new attack ad called "Celeb". Jim:

[runs snippet of "Celeb" ad; Voiceover: "He's the biggest celebrity in the world.  But is he ready to lead?"]

Exactly.  Electing a celebrity is something the Republican Party would never do.  Now, critics are saying this ad appeals to the lowest common denominator and that it smacks of desperation.  The ad even led to a furious phone call from Paris Hilton's grandfather.  Apparently, when he heard McCain had made a video with Paris, he assumed the worst. 

Yes, the entire media is calling this ad a mistake.  For once, they are right.  Which brings us to tonight's Wørd.  We the People.  Folks, this ad is a disaster for the McCain campaign.  Sure, it gets its facts right.  For instance, the fact that all celebrities are exactly the same.  So, clearly there's no difference between Sen. Obama, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.

First, all of them are hounded by the press.  They all look great on camera, and all three were professors of Constitutional Law at the University of Chicago.  They had very popular classes.  And who can forget Paris's stunningly honest memoir, Cash From My Father?  So, everything in the ad was true, but it was still a mistake for McCain.  Because while I already knew I'd never vote for Barack Obama, I didn't realize how much I'd love to vote for Britney Spears.  She would be the perfect Republican nominee. 

As the McCain ad proves, she's just as qualified as Barack Obama and she's got the same strong policy positions as John McCain. 

[video of Britney Spears: "I think we should just trust our President in every decision that he makes." ]

What a maverick.  Of course, they aren't exactly the same; I think Britney knows the difference between Sunnis and Shi'ite.  Plus Britney has got the necessary toughness.  McCain may have been a prisoner of war for five years, but Britney was a Mouseketeer.  Plus, Britney appeals to young people, and southerners and she's very pro-family. 

So I say, Republicans, it is not too late to draft Britney.  Imagine the thrill at the convention when she accepts your nomination and then tongues Kay Bailey Hutchinson.  Sen. McCain, because of your own ad, your only hope is to accept this nomination while wearing an albino snake. If nothing else, it will make you look tan.

And that's The Wørd.


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Hip hop star Nas joined forces with grassroots organization Color of Change and yesterday delivered over 620,000 petitions to FOX News, demanding an end to the daily on-air racism. Last night he joined Stephen to talk about the fight against FOX (particularly Bill O'Reilly, who Nas says is "scared") and performed the first single off his new untitled album, "Sly Fox."

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I watch CBS, and I see B.S
Trying to track us down with GPS
Make a brotha want to invest in PBS

You can check out Part 1 of the interview here to see Nas call out BillO.

UPDATE: Hat Tip to Color of Change. Sign their petition: Demand Fox stop race baiting and fear mongering

Jack and Jill says: Nas Joins Color of Change to Deliver Petitions to Fox News

Brave New Films says: Sorry FOX, We Won't Let You Trash Michelle Obama

Full lyrics below the fold. May not be safe for work.

Digg It!

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The Colbert Report: Barack Obama Snubs Fox News

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Stephen Colbert looks at the media maelstrom surrounding Barack Obama's trip to the Middle East and how there is one particular media outlet who doesn't seem to be involved.   Hmmm....which one could it be?

COLBERT:  You see, in recent months, McCain boxed Obama into a corner by saying it was important that Obama visit Iraq. Checkmate. No way out of that one. But now Obama is cheating, by visiting Iraq. The good news is there's so much media attention, there's always a possibility of a huge gaffe doing irreparable damage to his campaign. [..]
Now I was not invited on this trip. But, that's fine. But I am not the only one who was snubbed.

[video of FOX & Friends]
DOOCY: Why are you not on Barack Obama's airplane heading to the Middle East right now?
WALLACE: Well, I called the Obama campaign several weeks ago and said that I'd like to go and my invitation has apparently been lost in the mail.
[end video]

COLBERT:  Well, maybe that's what this is. Here you go. [holds up envelope] Oh my God, it's Chris Wallace's invitation to the Obama trip! They sent it to me by accident. This could be my ticket to cover Barack Obama's historic trip! All I have to do is...oh...and then people might think I was Chris Wallace. [shudders] Just not worth the risk.

Kind of makes the whole narrative that Obama is playing to FOX News Channel viewership in the general election a lie, doesn't it?   I think that anytime we see Democrats treating FNC rightfully as the propaganda arm of the GOP--as Netroots Nation did last week--they deserve a little pat on their back.  

Please send Obama a note of congratulations for his FOX snub here.  That's not weak on defense, Colbert, that's a strong offense and one all Democrats should be emulating. 

transcripts below the fold

Continue reading »


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  (guest-blogged by Heather)

A few weeks ago Stephen Colbert aired his second edition of the John McCain 'Green Screen Challenge'.

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Well ladies and gentlemen the big story out there continues to be the high cost of gasoline. Four bucks a gallon. I have stopped traveling anywhere that is not down hill. Luckily John McCain has the solution, Jim...
 
Three hundred million dollar prize for the development of a battery package that has the size, capacity, cost and power to leap frog the commercially available plug-in hybrids or electric cars.....
 
Fabulous prizes!...Who says McCain's campaign has no new ideas? They have the new idea of offering millions of dollars to people who actually have ideas. Ladies and gentlemen this is the latest example of John McCain's brave fight to keep Americans awake while he talks. It all started three weeks ago when he spoke in front of a green screen, challenging Americans to fill that green space with something more interesting than John McCain. Well to help his valiant effort I posted that green screen footage at ColbertNation.com and you the heroes have responded to my make McCain exciting challenge.

I believe this one topped the first edition and the Vogue clip was my favorite. SilentPatriot said his vote was for the Elvis clip. Which one is your favorite?


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Elizabeth Edwards on The Colbert Report

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 Elizabeth Edwards faces Stephen Colbert to stump for on behalf of the group Health Care for America Now! trying to raise the awareness of the campaign to bring affordable health care to all Americans.

Colbert:  You’re talking about Universal Health Care?

Edwards: Universal, meaning everybody gets health care.

Colbert: Okay, but we already have a form of universal health care, it’s called prayer.  Okay? Everybody can do it, and the Lord of the Universe hears all prayers, but sometimes the answer is, ‘I’m sorry, you’re not covered for that.’

Edwards: Right. A little too often it’s ‘you’re not covered for that.’  And unfortunately, there’s just too many Americans who currently prayer is their only form of health care.


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Colbert Report: Bush Offers The Nation an Economic Placebo

  John McCain and George Bush readily concede that off-shore drilling won't produce a drop of oil in the near future, but believe it will relieve our "psychological" pain. And we all know losing ones home is merely "psychological."

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"We want to believe that the nothing President Bush is offering is the something we've all been waiting for."