October 18, 2023

Donald Trump Jr. used time on his 'Triggered' podcast' to call on Americans to arm themselves with AR-15s. Most of us have urged Americans to support gun control because children are being slaughtered. Still, Junior made a bizarre counter-argument by saying that people need the right to purchase an AR-15-style firearm in case "people in motorized paragliders come into your home."

Let he or she who has not had a paraglider come swooping into their home cast the first stone. Amen.

"To the Democrats out there who's constantly trying to ban, you know, 30-round mags for your AR-15 and the AR-15 themselves," he said after possibly sniffing rails of cocaine off of Kimberly Guilfoyle's ass.

"That's why you need those things," he continued. "That's why you need an AR-15. That's why you need a 30-round mag."

"Because if people in motorized paragliders come into your home, that's what it's for," he said. "It's not about hunting; it never has been about hunting."

"You can never depend on the government to save you in a time of need when seconds count," he added. "Cops are just minutes away. You need to be armed. You can only trust yourself and keep your family safe."

OK, but y'all always told us it was about hunting. We know for sure it was never about saving innocent children's lives.

I wonder who home life is with Junior and Kim. Don wakes up in the middle of the night, grabbing his manly AR while Kim says, "What's wrong, my big Alpha Male snookums?" And he says, "You don't see the paragliders, Kimmy?" while wiping sweat off his brow.

We know he's referring to Hamas's attack on Israel, but holy fuckballs, Junior, pull yourself together.

Can you help us out?

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