That 70’s Show is Back: George McGovern Revives Old Campaign Plan — Promises Hillary $1000 To Quit Race

http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=1798

McCain:

“I saw that!”

okay what does NSFW mean ? ( xoites sorry you are bitter)

not safe for work

That’s about as good as Cable news… well, it is about as believable.

the onion is so fucking good

That was not safe for work? Because someone said ‘balls’?

You Americans need to lighten up.

Almost 21 hours after the Tuesday Night Masacre of May 6, 2008 and the victim has refused medical care although she is still hanging on. Her chances for recovery are decidedly non existant say Dr. Warren Diebold, “Even i can’t pull enough strings to revive this corpse.”

Meanwhile, the victim’s family is cursing the world for not doing enough to support her. One person close to the victim said, “If you just send enough money we could salve her wounds. We also accept major credit cards. I.O.U’s! I.O.U’s work too! We could write you an I.O.U! Want a nice cabinet?

Onlookers looked on in shock.

this video makes me like McCain

Well, I dont know about you, but i could really go for a $600 bucket of fried chicken about now….

I wanted to make a submission to the onion, but they dont accept them :(

Ron Paul wins GOP nomination: Media demands immediate recount

Did you all see the beatings 15 cops laid on 3 guys they yanked out of their car? I have no idea why the cops pulled them over for even.

I love the Onion!

According to Wikipedia, the following Onion stories have been mistaken as genuine around the globe:

• Congress Threatens To Leave D.C. Unless New Capitol Is Built
reported as true in China

• Study: 58 Percent Of U.S. Exercise Televised
reported as true by Deborah Norville

• Harry Potter Books Spark Rise in Satanism Among Children
mass e-mailed as true by concerned Christians

• Child Bankrupts Make-a-Wish Foundation by Wishing for More Wishes
became an internet urban legend

• Sean Penn Demands To Know What Asshole Took SeanPenn@gmail.com
reported as true in Denmark

Wuzup Hussein Dawk @ 7:

That was not safe for work? Because someone said ‘balls’?

You Americans need to lighten up.

Indeed. We’re the country that fined one of our networks hundreds of thousands of dollars for an instantaneous flash of Janet Jackson’s breast that nobody actually saw.

Karen @ 13:

Wuzup Hussein Dawk @ 7:

That was not safe for work? Because someone said ‘balls’?

You Americans need to lighten up.

Indeed. We’re the country that fined one of our networks hundreds of thousands of dollars for an instantaneous flash of Janet Jackson’s breast that nobody actually saw.

If you can’t touch em why worry about if people saw them.

i need two groups of people to please explain some things to me

first, the clinton supporters: as it now seems almost impossible for senator clinton to win the nomination, why should a non clinton supporter not believe that everything she does from here on out is only to insure a mccain win so that she can run again in 2012?

second, republicans: after 8 years of failed foreign and domestic policies, how can you guys keep a straight face while saying that a democratic president would be worse for this country than a republican? especially a republican like mccain, who is willing to sell out all of his alledged core values in order to sit in the desk in the oval office?

i currently believe that close to 2/3 of this country dont give two shits about its future.

uncle joe hussein mccarthy @ 15:

i need two groups of people to please explain some things to me

first, the clinton supporters: as it now seems almost impossible for senator clinton to win the nomination, why should a non clinton supporter not believe that everything she does from here on out is only to insure a mccain win so that she can run again in 2012?

second, republicans: after 8 years of failed foreign and domestic policies, how can you guys keep a straight face while saying that a democratic president would be worse for this country than a republican? especially a republican like mccain, who is willing to sell out all of his alledged core values in order to sit in the desk in the oval office?

i currently believe that close to 2/3 of this country dont give two shits about its future.

2/3 do, 1/3 don’t.

In his second term, to replace White House Security, McCain will just sit in a rocker on the front porch with a loaded shotgun.

15 uncle joe hussein mccarthy Says: i need two groups of people to please explain some things to me

first, the clinton supporters: as it now seems almost impossible for senator clinton to win the nomination, why should a non clinton supporter not believe that everything she does from here on out is only to insure a mccain win so that she can run again in 2012?

second, republicans: after 8 years of failed foreign and domestic policies, how can you guys keep a straight face while saying that a democratic president would be worse for this country than a republican? especially a republican like mccain, who is willing to sell out all of his alledged core values in order to sit in the desk in the oval office?

i currently believe that close to 2/3 of this country dont give two shits about its future.
========================
Hey! I want a question!

Hillary wants to be President. I want to be an astronaut.

The difference between me and Hilary:

I can accept reality.

xoites (Bitter before Country was Cool) defends Constitution @ 18:

15 uncle joe hussein mccarthy Says: i need two groups of people to please explain some things to me

first, the clinton supporters: as it now seems almost impossible for senator clinton to win the nomination, why should a non clinton supporter not believe that everything she does from here on out is only to insure a mccain win so that she can run again in 2012?

second, republicans: after 8 years of failed foreign and domestic policies, how can you guys keep a straight face while saying that a democratic president would be worse for this country than a republican? especially a republican like mccain, who is willing to sell out all of his alledged core values in order to sit in the desk in the oval office?

i currently believe that close to 2/3 of this country dont give two shits about its future.
========================
Hey! I want a question!

xiotes, I am now using the firefox. It’s quick and we get the quote and refesh buttons.
Give it a try.

Thats funny but not as good as the Home Depot spoof

http://www.theonion.com/conten.....n_soldiers

I sent this email to Clinton tonight:

I think this white/black thing is not working. You are insulting and belittling over 1/2 of the voters you have encountered to this point.
I resent it, and I am white.

Not good.

Bush blames Dems for his failed policies. Al Gore thinks that cyclone is a symptom of global warming.

funny

Hillary wants to be President. I want to be an astronaut.

The difference between me and Hilary:

I can accept reality.

i’ve known astronauts, you shouldn’t sell yourself short.

Karen @ 13:

Wuzup Hussein Dawk @ 7:

That was not safe for work? Because someone said ‘balls’?

You Americans need to lighten up.

Indeed. We’re the country that fined one of our networks hundreds of thousands of dollars for an instantaneous flash of Janet Jackson’s breast that nobody actually saw.

Not true. Everyone saw it. Not on TV, however. It was so offensive, and every concerned citizen was so outraged that they responsibly looked at repeated replays and still photos on the net afterward to confirm their need to be rightfully indignant.

I love how the Onion articles have to get even crazier just to outdo the real news.

I highly recommend Ninja Parade, Bull$#!*, and Classified. Oh, and the Iron Man trailer to become full length movie is good too.

Ok, i meant i want to be a brain surgeon and have the hottest Rock and Roll Band on the charts and have women come onto me, but only the very sexiest ones, and i want a pony.

Hillary could be just about anything she wants to be except, president. I would like to see her as attorney general or replace Harry Reid as leader in the senate.

That story was probably as accurate as anything on FOX.

xoites (Bitter before Country was Cool) defends Constitution @ 28:

Ok, i meant i want to be a brain surgeon and have the hottest Rock and Roll Band on the charts and have women come onto me, but only the very sexiest ones, and i want a pony.

Why the pony? Do you have a fetish?

Has anybody heard from Pat Robertson why Myanmar was devistated by a cyclone yet? Was it non cooperating torure victims again?

I was doing a little research and ran across this gem:

Between 1940 and 1944 sales rose from $239 million to $835 million. Profits were so high that the company renegotiated its wartime government contracts downward in order to return what it considered to be unpatriotically excessive returns on investment. Following the war, no company was more ready for a boom than Westinghouse Electric.

http://news.pghtech.org/teq/teqstory.cfm?id=1759

Does this mean that today’s military contractors are unpatriotic?

Ron @ 11:

Did you all see the beatings 15 cops laid on 3 guys they yanked out of their car? I have no idea why the cops pulled them over for even.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYdzVSQ0_Tw

That was fucked up. Note one of those cops was taking turns on each guy like a buffet.

Patriotism is the root of war. All military contractors are patriotic, in fact many support several countries.

xoites (Bitter before Country was Cool) defends Constitution @ 32:

Has anybody heard from Pat Robertson why Myanmar was devistated by a cyclone yet? Was it non cooperating torure victims again?

No, but I did hear about one of the detainees that went suicide bomber someplace. If you torture them, they may just do anything to get back at us.

Wuzup Hussein Dawk @ 7:

That was not safe for work? Because someone said ‘balls’?

You Americans need to lighten up.

My boss always threatens to saw my balls off. She’s a real go getter.

Ron,

before this election, i would have loved hillary as leader of the senate

but as she has shown her true colors, and that to aquire power, she is willing to sell her soul, i wouldnt want her for dog catcher

as far as im concerned, the clinton legacy is dead

I saw my balls of the last time they went abroad. They had all the fun.

xoites (Bitter before Country was Cool) defends Constitution @ 32:

Has anybody heard from Pat Robertson why Myanmar was devistated by a cyclone yet? Was it non cooperating torure victims again?

Perhaps the majority of the people there rejected Intelligent Design as a scientific theory?

My favorite fact about the country? They speak Karen. :)

seriously

if a repug troll wont come on to answer my questions, i know there is at least one clinton supporter out there

McCain…

Rambo like Vietnam flashback causing violent outbursts at those who do not threaten him?
or
Dottering senility causing jokes about bombing other countries and a continuous stream of “I don’t recall” statements?
or
BOTH?

McCain… He’s like George W. Bush and Ronald Reagan all rolled into one!

StirFry @ 34:

Ron @ 11:

Did you all see the beatings 15 cops laid on 3 guys they yanked out of their car? I have no idea why the cops pulled them over for even.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYdzVSQ0_Tw

That was fucked up. Note one of those cops was taking turns on each guy like a buffet.

Hey, it’s not like this was police state in action, they were beating them for their own protection. Protect and serve.

“That was not safe for work? Because someone said ‘balls’?

You Americans need to lighten up.”

Hey! It’s not all of us. I’d play that at work. Well, as long as my born again, Bush/McCain supporting cubicle neighbor isnt around. She gets so touchy sometimes!

Cops have only been beating suspects since the invention of the video camera.

Don’t believe me?

Have you ever seen a painting of a police beating?

givemeabreak @ 44:

“That was not safe for work? Because someone said ‘balls’?

You Americans need to lighten up.”

Hey! It’s not all of us. I’d play that at work. Well, as long as my born again, Bush/McCain supporting cubicle neighbor isnt around. She gets so touchy sometimes!

Your lucky to have someone that will be touchy with your balls in a nearby cubicle.

in regards to the police beating in phili, while i do hope a full investigation is done, people need to be aware of a few things

first, just this past saturday, another philly cop was killed on duty

second, these guys were suspects in a shooting and apparently did attempt to allude the police

its unclear by the vid what exactly is going on, on the ground, but i saw the chief’s press conference and they have taken a few of these cops off the streets

and look, its a hell of alot better than what happened to those guys in queens…and those cops got off scott free

Ron @ 43:

Hey, it’s not like this was police state in action, they were beating them for their own protection. Protect and serve.

I was waiting the for the police chief and mayor to show up and join in. jeez.

Wuzup@7 said;

“That was not safe for work? Because someone said ‘balls’?

You Americans need to lighten up.”

Listen up Bub. We Americans are the gold standard for morality. I don’t know how things are in your land, but here in the Homeland we have very high standards. Saying the “B” word just isn’t acceptable around these parts. Sex or the nasty body parts that accompany sex are off limits. That’s just how we “roll.”

Bill Clinton will go down ( no pun intended ) in history as the man who brought shame to our highest office by engaging in sexual shenanegans in the oval ( not oral ) office ( not oriface ).

George Bush will be remembered for going after the 9/11 evil doers. The fact that he is responsible for thousands of innocent people’s deaths will be but a minor footnote next to the fact that he brought honor back to the White House by not being Bill Clinton.

So there! I hope you learned a little something my friend.

(Onion mode off)

Then pardon me while i smash in your car door. Somebody drove me off the road on the freeway!

That was bland humor

uncle joe hussein mccarthy @ 48:

in regards to the police beating in phili, while i do hope a full investigation is done, people need to be aware of a few things

first, just this past saturday, another philly cop was killed on duty

second, these guys were suspects in a shooting and apparently did attempt to allude the police

its unclear by the vid what exactly is going on, on the ground, but i saw the chief’s press conference and they have taken a few of these cops off the streets

and look, its a hell of alot better than what happened to those guys in queens…and those cops got off scott free

Uncle Joe, I don’t know what they might be suspected of but, watch the video. They were not trying to restrain these guys, they were beating the shit out of them.