Economist and tearful Nixonite Ben Stein wants Donald Trump to fire Robert Mueller right now, today. Mueller terrifies him in so many ways. But we begin with Jeff Sessions.

When asked by the Fox Biz Hostess O'The Day Liz MacDonald why Trump is talking to the New York Times about Sessions, Stein told her, "I think he wants Jeff Sessions to resign. I think he wants him to be gone, and I think he wants to then fire the special prosecutor."

But wait! There's a reason why Trump wants Sessions, the guy who shepherded him into the White House to resign. " Look -- look, he has got a whole bunch of buzzards and other carrion animals that eat carrion looking over his shoulder."

Oh, the imagery.

"They want to kill him," Stein fretted. "I mean, Mr. Mueller, I'm sure he's a fine human being in many ways, but he's got that job because he wants to kill the political career and maybe take away the freedom of President Trump. He's not there for any other reason. Nobody takes that job then hires 20 or 30 high-level Democrat prosecutors, unless he's out to get the president."

Yes, that fine, upstanding law-and-order guy who was considered potential Vice Presidential material is like the monster under the bed, hoarding "Democrat prosecutors" because he's out to kill and eat Trump, or some such.

Have you ever heard such blather?

Stein continued, "[Trump's] gonna have to get rid of him eventually. He's going to have to get rid of Sessions. The whole idea of having a special prosecutor this early when there's no crime -- nothing bad has happened."

I'll bet we could go back to Bill Clinton's tenure in the White House and see Ben Stein singing a whole different tune about special prosecutors, but whatever.

Stein wasn't finished, though. He had plenty more to say about Mueller.

Of the special prosecutor's powers and mandate, Stein worried that the mandate was "too broad," giving Mueller "a license to hunt and kill."

He went on to clarify that he didn't mean literally kill, but kill Trump politically, as if he somehow needed help doing that thing.

"This is the essence of a witch hunt, done by a very accomplished witch hunter, Mr. Mueller, who is getting his witch hunting friends from the Democratic Party on the job," he concluded.

I mean, seriously?

Here's a clue, Fox Business and Ben Stein.

Democrats didn't take a meeting with Russian government folks to dig up dirt on their opponents.

Democrats didn't finance their bigass buildings with dirty Russian money, which Mueller is now investigating.

Democrats didn't take a private meeting with Putin without any American interpreters or witnesses present.

Trump did those things all on his own, along with a host of others.

It's almost like Richard Nixon's ghost poured all his paranoia onto Ben Stein and Fox Business broadcast it! Do you suppose all five Fox Business viewers were as paranoid as Stein?

(h/t Media Matters)